Life’s lessons #1

I am too afraid of the real world out there. I ignored almost everything and makes my life vulnerable. I forget to really enjoy life. And most importantly, to constantly remember that my life’s fate has been written by Him. All I need to do is just do my best in everything, and believe in Him. Believe in every single choices that I make in my life. It’s written in Luh Mahfuz. Believe in qada’ & qadar, & it reminds me of the concept of tawakkal. 

I would like to thank a friend of mine for reminding me about this. Let’s be a lot more braver!

Thanks Bos


The painful sad truth

Sometimes people hate the truth, and sometimes people like it. In my case, I like the truth at this moment. I prefer to tell the truth to the people that are supposed to know about it. I just can’t… I have not enough courage to express my feelings and my thoughts. Am I a coward?

I always have trouble in telling what I really feel. I am afraid of perceptions. I want to take good care of my image. I’d rather be invisible from people’s sights… I prefer those who can really see, to see me. I do not want those who cannot really see me, to look at me and understand me in a wrong way.

In reality, people don’t really understand you. They will never be in your shoes. Unless, it is the one who you tell all your dirty little secrets. And I still couldn’t found one. I wish I have someone to tell every single problem, and thought that I have, and that person is willing to be a good listener. I am not saying that I’m tired of becoming a listener… But sometimes, I just want to be… heard of…

This simple poem entitled “Sad I Ams” by Trevor Millum can really be understandable by me. It makes sense to me… In my context now. I guess, being a writer is so much fun than being a lecturer or motivator, any kind of people who need to speak. Through writing, I can express things that I want to without getting any feedback. All people do is read, and think. I guess I really am, an intrinsic people… I just have no idea how to put my thoughts into words! I guess I have no talent in speaking or persuading people.

Well, I just don’t know. I love writing ever since I was in my teenage life. I don’t know how to share or express my feelings. I’m too noob for that, I guess… So if I’m writing something for you, believe me, it comes straight from my heart. 🙂

To end this entry, I think this article might helps;

Hope I’ll find the truth at the end of the tunnel!

Something to ponder about teaching writing…

“The teacher who strives only to have students increase their skills, is generally wasting her time until she interests them in WANTING to write, in having a PURPOSE in writing, and in writing with HONESTY and RESPONSIBILITY. It is not always possible within the constraints of the syllabus and school environment to do this but they need to act as pedagogic lighthouses towards which you move.”

Paul Anderson (1964)

Final year reflection (Part 1)

#Repost from the draft. Dah jadi pekasam dah. LOL.

I am currently having my semester break. It’s a short one, just for a month. I am freaking out for next week’s practicum. We need to register and proceed with the teaching practice! It’s time to put all the theories into practice, people! Well, that is not so simple. You’ve got to be well-prepared before you can teach. But, as what my friend used to ‘said’ in a whatsapp conversation; “Since we are still in the teaching practice, so it is still considered as learning, isn’t it? It’s just that we don’t need to go to classes anymore.”  As for me, making mistakes is okay, because you are still in the process of learning, but since you are about to have REAL students (this is no longer a normal lecture presentation), you need to be as perfect as possible, make the learning meaningful and purposeful. Your supervisor might give positive or negative feedback and comments based on your teaching style or classroom management. But one thing that you need to remember is never EVER give up. This was what my ‘Teaching Grammar for secondary schools’ lecturer said. You are facing students with ‘weird’ behaviors. Students nowadays are not the same as during our era, seriously. They are acting differently, and might have known things more than you do.

As I was travelling from Kuala Lumpur back to Terengganu, I thought of things that I worried about; my practicum. I’ve started to feel guilty for things that I’ve missed throughout my 3 and a half year studying in campus. So here, I’m sharing this so that you won’t go through the same ‘guiltiness’ as I do. 😉

List of things that I regret on my final year (Before the final semester):

  • I don’t know much.
  • I don’t read a lot (I am too lazy to walk to the library, or even to read books related to my course).
  • I did not practice what I have learned consistently.
  • I didn’t really know people around me; my friends, classmates, roommates, and lecturers.
  • I wasn’t so active in social work (clubs especially. But I did join students’ association which I am so grateful of those experiences & meeting  and working with awesome people around me 🙂 )
  • I did not stay long at school during my School Orientation Programme (SOP). We were supposed to complete a month of practicum at school, observing as well as completing reports. My colleague asked for the lecturers to cut it down for 2 weeks only. I was too excited to stop going to school in which I think there’s no problem for me to stay any longer.

Yes I do

Yeah… Let’s move forward!